Karma

How do we know when something is happening FOR us and not TO us?

In understanding how karma works, you have to understand its main purpose: balance. Even if you don’t believe there’s such thing as karma, you must know that there are physics that are involved like the 3rd law of motion: for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction

So if we just analyze what’s happening in this life presently and not past lives- it works like this: for every thing we do, we are either exerting positive energy/intentions, or exerting negative energy/intentions. Neutral ones don’t apply because there isn’t necessarily a charge, and we can also assume that in a neutral reaction there’s good and bad so the equality is already taken care of within the action itself and does not engender a reaction. Karma isn’t a tit for tat because the energy is affected by its accumulation of force as well as the energy it’s pushing against- will break this down later.

Say a person does something harmful to someone else. It could go either of two ways: maybe they didn’t mean to cause as much damage as they do upon the other person, but they already knew that they were doing something bad. This would release a karmic effect but what we don’t know is when the ricochet effect will take place. Sometimes it’s instant, sometimes it takes decades or even lifetimes. Say this person does something bad and knows, and even intends, to cause harm to another person. Then the amount of intention/energy that’s exerted is far more than the first case and so the ricochet effect will be more intense. However, it can sometimes get carried into the next life, or other ones, in case there’s a karmic contract involved between these two parties which will carry over as karmic debt (and in some cases, this action might even be the cause of the contract to start). Or, sometimes the perpetrator is working on a spiritual lesson in this life that necessitates the karma be returned in this life, then the timeline does matter. When spiritual people tell you there’s no such thing as linear time in the spiritual world, that concept is true in part, but there are specific axis of linear time that is dealt with even in the spiritual sense.

What also impacts this is if someone knows better. For example, if a little kid did harm, it might be innocent because they don’t yet have the awareness to know its cause and effect. That tones down the intention portion of the equation so the negative energy they’re exerting isn’t as strong, therefore their rebound effect also isn’t as strong. Sometimes people who don’t know any better, especially children, will get a “pass” that they’ll never have to “pay” for karmically. But, say you’re very well aware- the level of awareness you have will also strengthen the intention, which strengthens the rebound effect.

Additionally, the charge of the energy that the original action is pushing against will either decelerate or accelerate the rebound effect.

An example: someone does something harmful to a being who has a lot of light in their field- their light acts as a refraction and not only reflects the karma back more intensely, but also can accelerate the karmic rebound. Think about the effect of shining a light directly at a prism- the light is reflected back in different wavelengths, and often times can be even more blinding than the light itself. Basically you’re forced to see the elements of this light broken down—- i.e. you’re forced to experience the rebounded action frame by frame. The light in their field may also push against the negative intention because by nature a person who’s anchored in light already radiates positive intentions, so there’s a energetic reaction taking place much like chemistry- two polarities come together to create a karmic reaction.

There’s also the possibility that someone does something harmful to someone who has harmed a lot of people- i.e. a bounty hunter kills someone who’s done terrible things to people and plans on continuing. In this case, although the murder itself is naturally charged with destructive intentions, there is a positive effect to this as it’s stopping a worse perpetrator and that will neutralize some of the negative karmic effect of the action. Not to mention, there isn’t light in the energy field that pushes back if we assume that this person is very dark triad.

So that brings me to the question of- sometimes when something “bad” happens to someone, is that their karma returning? Or is that simply a challenge they signed up for in this life time?

When there’s negative karma returning, there’s no “lesson”. Instead, it feels like something must be paid, acknowledged or seen. If you tune in to the energy only, it feels dark, cloudy.

When it’s an event that seems negative but isn’t karma, but is karmic in the sense that you’re meant to experience this to grow, you, if you’re tuned into things beyond the veil will sense there’s a lot of guidance around you and the energy feels light. You’ll get a sense that this is positive and spiritual in origin and it’s rife with lessons, and more importantly, there is a way out.

For example, clients will sometimes have me read a loved one who is ill. Although the disease expresses the same, the energy around it is either light and infused with spirituality or it’s dark and very low vibrational.

If it’s a karmic debt, you’ll find that the attachment to a particular person or situation feels unresolved, or to me, “sticky”. But once you resolve the situation by “paying” the debt in whatever form, all of a sudden that attachment is no longer and you feel that the person and situation is no longer tied. You may never revisit the situation again, or never hear from or see the other person ever again.

This is a topic that wouldn’t be able to be fully covered in several books, but here’s a intermediate primer for now.

Life Update

It’s been a while that I’ve posted anything personal on here.

Almost 2 years ago, I sustained a near fatal injury that I still haven’t fully recovered from. One of the lasting impacts of this was brain damage. Although this path was painful, there was a large part of me, my intuitive knowing, that reassured me that this was the path. We can’t expect “the path”, meaning, our spiritual path, to be a smooth one. It’s meant to be one filled with challenges and events that look like terrible things at the onset, but later reveal a greater wisdom.

Yes, my last 2 years were extremely extremely difficult. But yet, even in the darkest days I found a certain beauty. I found a path to awakening, a path to healing, a path to deeper self love, self care and commitment. I learned truly how to put myself first and set clear boundaries around my time. The amount of self work I’ve been able to complete I couldn’t have done in 15 years time had this not happened. And, it’s in a strange way, set me up for the rest of my life- I now have a foundation of nutrition, biohacking, sleep hygiene, exercise that is so meticulous that I would never have been able to put together had it not been a life or death situation. I mention biohacking because what happened to me was something that on the physical side, makes someone lose their hair, destroys DNA (so then your body can’t synthesize protein or collagen) and changes body composition and contributes to obesity. So in essence, it ages you and destroys your metabolism, but I was able to reverse age and get my body nearly back to its original composition through research, trial and error and a deeply committed approach to cleansing and healing.

On the emotional/mental side, what happened to me not only destroyed my brain chemistry and hormones, but also causes intense anxiety and depression. My baseline for happiness dropped so much that in this difficult journey to regulate it, even the smallest joys or the hour long windows where I feel nearly normal are celebrated. I don’t take anything for granted anymore, and that in itself is a liberating state however hard it was to come by. You can’t appreciate things if you don’t have the right state of mind, after all.

In the past 6 months at least, I’ve struggled with symptoms that look close to early on-set dementia. That’s been something that’s very challenging to cope with, however, I have also noticed that my intuitive abilities, spiritual abilities, extrasensory abilities however you want to address them, have increased exponentially. Intuitive hits used to come in fast- but now it’s like a race car and the depth to which I can perceive and synthesize the metaphysical have reached a level that I’m even having difficulty comprehending.

It hit me like a lightning bolt yesterday- I remember in my studies of psych/neuroscience that sometimes when people experience head trauma they will suddenly be able to access psychic abilities they previously didn’t have. Or, sometimes after a car accident someone will have a life changing kundalini awakening that induces phenomena (I’ve met someone this happened to- he developed the ability to see auras). Or, sometimes people have what is called savant syndrome where one part of the brain is damaged and that activates (or lessens the inhibition) another part of the brain that suddenly breathes life to dormant high level abilities. The ever famous Phineas Gage who had a metal rod run through his head had a total personality makeover. In all of these cases, damage was done to the left frontal lobe.

The parts of my brain that were damaged include the frontal and the parietal lobe. I have a sense that because of this, my brain overcompensated by rewiring and activating other parts of my brain that are not damaged, one of which is the center of intuition. When I tune in, I can actually feel that the lower part of my brain feels much more active and energized that I’ve ever noticed before. With each day, it feels stronger, too.

That may not be the main purpose of this pathway that I travelled, but it is one of the purposes, I’m told intuitively. I also know that this is a permanent change, as my brain trauma heals the wiring will also repair, but the networks will already be established in the lower regions and stay active.

Upon researching, I found confirmation from neuroscientists, and to me this is such a revelation.

Just like any type of trauma for which I’m not thankful for, what results is a cataclysmic chain of events that are as much of, or more of, its contrast (should you be a beauty seeker, a healer, someone who can stay the course and use it as such). I’ve been stuck in moments of self-pity or wallowing in the unfairness of it all as I have about traumatic events from the past, but until we “zoom out” we can’t see what it’s all for and why we had to endure it. In fact, we might not even be able to see that part of us selected it. Because it’s meant to make us better.

So here I am today, with a full head of hair, with my body in probably the best shape of my life, with a level of self-unity that I’ve never come close to before. I may not be able to think straight still, and still feel sick most days, still have a pounding headache and brain fog, but what I do have is a rapidly healing brain that is accelerating past what is considered “normal” abilities (not that I ever considered myself as someone with “normal” abilities nor I’m sure, does anyone who is reading this blog). I can now see that there was no other way for me to get here in as short of a span of time as this has been, despite it feeling way too long. And I can see that the joy, the health, and the success that I’ll experience for the rest of my life is due in part to who I am today and the path of fire I was able to walk through in one piece. And to get here, this is due in part to the little girl I once was, who bravely walked through the fires of her childhood too, alone, but always whole.

Reiki Testimonial

My client C. C. wrote me the day after his first remote reiki session:

Your reiki healing is serious business. I feel profound shifts taking place—old energy still clearing out and am looking forward how energy settles in next few days—things feel brighter and clearer already. I did not know what to expect but the after was so intense in the best way possible, almost like a trip. Definitely will be back for a tune up when it is time

Most people report vivid dreams, elation, relaxation and immediately noticeable benefits right after, but the full shifts (and anchored in intentions if you chose to program those in) usually take a few days.

As you continue to do these sessions, you will usually become more sensitized to the energy of the session before, during and after. As more of your density gets cleared away, you will become more attuned to energy shifts and more open to receive healing. It will also become much easier to program in intentions and see those changes happening in your life right away.

With reiki, we can adjust the subtlest to the most pronounced things. You can choose to program in new beliefs, even rewire the mind. If you think about it- everything, I mean EVERYTHING in your body runs on electric impulses. It’s all energy- synapses, neural networks, nerve impulses etc... so the primary form of change that your body understands is ENERGETIC. With reiki and my particular skill set, we target the most subatomic energies in your body for drastic shifts by influencing them to be how you want them to be.

Primarily, we are ENERGY. At the most basic level, even our cells communicate via energy. We consume calories, which become energy in the body. I think when people who don’t understand this think about the body, they think in terms of matter- i.e. bones, skin, etc.. But… what is holding this matter together? What is holding these atoms together? How do they communicate?

Right.

That’s why these sessions are effective.

Super Session

On my booking page under packages, you’ll find a new offering: Super Session

Essentially this is 3 hours of work in one day- first we’ll start with a Clairvoyant session, then move on to an Integrative and finish with a Reiki session. We can change up the order depending on what’s right for you.

This would be the package to choose for those of you who want to heal as much as possible in the shortest amount of time instead of opting to gradually shift over a longer span of time.

If you want to up level, this is the fastest way to do it.

It is recommended for those of you choosing this format to block out the whole day, as you’ll need recovery time after we finish the session. Your energy field will also be sensitive so it is recommended to minimize disruption. This is undergoing energetic surgery so you’ll want to have the space for a deep recovery before and after.

10-Series Testimonial

Working with Gigi and to watch her bloom into her next phase in life, a phase of life marked by independence and spiritual sovereignty is so wonderful. Our “meeting” was marked by tons of synchronicity and resonant symbols. It’s very common for the highly gifted- spiritually speaking, to be born into systems that don’t support us, and part of our spiritual journey comes from liberating ourselves from the past so we can move forward in all ways as a pure being, unrestrained by the energy and the conditioning of our systems past.

Sometimes we are told certain things about ourselves and we learn to believe them to play our “part” in the dysfunction of those around us. It can impinge on our own belief about ourselves and our capabilities, when in reality it is not true- it is just a learned behavior to stay “in-group”. Of course these parts are not always easiest to recognize, nor are they to heal and release. That’s where I come in.

---

“It feels like an impossible task to even begin to put into words the kind of experience or impact this 10 series had on me/my life...so impossible it's funny.

I have been in and out of therapy for a decade, I've read almost every lauded self-help and spirituality book that exists, but it wasn't until the sessions Maria helped facilitate did I start to feel like I could actually see myself for the first time....ever! in my whole life.

i feel changed. i feel like a me that finally is on her way to a life i knew i always felt could be mine but i felt soooo far away from. and didn't understand why. and didn't know how to get closer. maria helps you bridge those gaps.

there was and continues to be SO MUCH about myself i didn't know. it isn't a cure all, this work is continuous and life long. but i feel like the forest has cleared a bit and i can see a path AND i'm excited to walk it and even tho i am alone, i feel for the first time, capable, unafraid, and excited.

i don't know. if you're feeling called to this work and you're looking for assurance that this will mean something or make an impact...i don't know if i or anyone can really give you that but it meant a lot to me. it made a huge impact on me. i feel closest to myself than i have ever been and this work + therapy has been doing wonders for my ability to show up for myself and create a life i love and don't want to escape from,”

Emergence

Sometimes I channel certain things in sessions that are new to my present consciousness, but yet some part, the deepest part, I’ve known forever. It’s very interesting, this being human, how we have our “firsts” when really they’re not firsts after all, just the first time in this life.

This happened in a remote reiki session 2 days ago. The first word I heard, as if yelled at me, was “emergence”

I’ve never technically heard this word used in relationship to any spiritual concepts, for instance like a word such as karma, or awakening is so tied to spirituality that it holds a certain anchored meaning. I know the word remembrance, I started to remember what that meant in concrete spiritual terms. For those who don’t, it’s the process by which we awaken to our divinity, to the remembering of the vastness of our soul. For me, when I awakened, I had visceral emotional reactions when I saw ancient tapestries and I recognized them. I had nostalgia, a deep, guttural flutter that told me it was not my first time witnessing them. I was there at their time of creation.

It dawned on me to look up this word in terms of spirituality and this is what I found. So yes, it does have meaning, and it blew me away. They indicate that this process should have proper support— it’s interesting to gain context and descriptions for the work that I do without prior knowledge that this is what I was doing— I’ve helped clients integrate, understand, parse out and heal throughout this convoluted, complicated process of spiritual emergence. It is a beautiful, beautiful, challenging and rewarding process. I hope that this post opens doors as opposed to giving any answers, as a new possibility unfolds in my consciousness after understanding what this means in concrete 3D language.

In my understanding and experience, the spiritual awakening is the first step to a spiritual life- it’s when the kundalini energy connects root to crown for the first time and divinity enters. This is the first stage of remembrance, but remembrance is a continual process that spans a lifetime. The deeper you go with your soul, the more you remember of yourself and the world. You remember past lives, then the lives between lives, and you see glimpses of the future lives too.

There is only one major, cataclysmic spiritual awakening, yet it can feel like in the process of emergence that there are multiple small tremors of awakenings. These are usually accompanied by ego deaths in which parts of your ego go into full resistance and have to die In order to allow more of the soul self to emerge. These can feel brutal, but they happen once in a while as new parts are sloughed off and they often come with full surrender into a fearful state, and then a sudden surrender into connectedness and release.

A dark night of the soul happens during the spiritual awakening, in fact it’s a necessary stage. It’s a cumulative process of sometimes years, in which the soul/human journey through extreme darkness until one day a MAJOR part of you “dies” in order to allow the awakening. I do feel that ego deaths are more minor, they happen in conjunction with the dark night of the soul but as “they” are telling me now, the dark night of the soul is a rite of passage. Most of us only have 1, and some of us have 2 at a much later stage of spiritual progress.

Emergence is by far the most difficult thing because unlike the others which have a drastic turnover, emergence is a continual process with no definitive beginning or end. I thought that it did, but “they” are correcting me as I channel them now. We are in a continual stage of emergence.

Outgrowing

When we’re on the path of growth, ascension, healing, whatever you choose to call it, you invariably start adopting your own pace that’s a reflection of your vibration. It’s really difficult for two people to travel vibrationally at the same rate because we’re all unique.

Something I’m learning through my own path is that there will be times that are very uncomfortable as we shift into new ways of being. The matches externally die out as we shed new skin, and we can no longer match certain people in our lives that we, at lower frequencies thought we’d know for a lot longer. It can come very suddenly and can often times be very jarring. Why does it feel like I can no longer talk to this person? Why am I suddenly dreading responding to them, like my energy doesn’t want to go near them? These are some of the thoughts that pop up when I reach this stage. It’s not avoidance, because nothing changed in the relationship— but, I changed.

Sometime we outgrow our teachers. I’ve had teachers and healers, and sometimes both are the same, meet me when they were of a much higher vibration. But, somewhere along the way I rose in frequency above them and their words, teachings, healings, no longer carry any resonance for me. Their truth is not my truth, even if I once saw it as the truth. I’ve come to find that in these cases, either they will shift out something just won’t work— like you can’t seem to coordinate a time to meet, or what once felt really easy to align won’t anymore. Sometimes it’s not just a scheduling mishap- it’s literally something in the connection that’s out of alignment. When you match with someone, things feel more effortless. When things start to tip out of balance, you’ll know too.

The most important thing here is respecting your own vibration. I feel that human beings often confuse things and think we’re all the same, or there’s one path. But people come into this world with different levels of skillsets and some move faster and some move slower. Everyone has their natural cadence, strengths and weaknesses and they can’t be assessed based on one set of criteria. People will also hold you to their own limits, whether they’re conscious or unconscious. So if you allow them to determine where you can go and where you are, you’re agreeing to their limits which may hold you back. Limits may feel safe to begin with because they establish a certain code of conduct, or way of understanding/relating, as you’re adjusting to a new framework. But, if you stay true to you, you’ll know when it’s time to move and stretch your container. You also know when someone is growing continuously and not imposing limits on you.

For me, it’s become more and more important to find people who do not have limits. These are people who’ve made the impossible possible, because these are people who do not think about the world in limits and do not look at me that way either. They often tend to attract a higher caliber (and I mean this as vibration and consciousness) of people who also exceed imposed limits that are decided based on limited consciousness and a consensus, an average.

Jamie Sam’s book Dancing the Dream talks about various paths that we walk. Sometimes, people skip certain paths and come back later to review, some people get stuck on one path, some people move through all swiftly. Our teachers also need to be a few paths farther than us so they can show us the way. In those uncomfortable moments when we’re shifting out of paths and everyone else is still where we left them, it’s important to just breathe and know that just because there’s an empty space now doesn’t mean that new people won’t come in, or the universe won’t guide you towards another teacher. In fact, it’s the empty space that is the very thing that will attract those people to you faster. This is the important moment of self-mastery where we do need to be conscious of what comes up- fear, loneliness, grief etc.. we need to feel them, honor them, but we don’t need to let them overtake us and sacrifice our own vibration to scratch an itch.

It’s very human to want to run back to what we know, but the spiritual path requires us to have integrity with regards to our own journey and our own reason for being here. Some mindset coaches will tell you to transcend the emotion. I’m not, I’m saying that it’s important to feel them through, but that we don’t always have to act on them. We most certainly don’t want to suppress them, or bypass them, or “transcend” them. We need to be honest with ourselves, use our tools to process, but ultimately make informed decisions based on prioritizing our greatest good.

Regardless, the main takeaway in all of this is, sometimes someone’s truth can be your truth for a while, but there is never an absolute truth and in finding our own truth and sovereignty we need to remember that we have the power to decide what is true for us, even if it’s true for someone else.

Dynamics

In recent years I did a family constellation and we left at a very confusing point. My practitioner asked me if I was “the big one or the small one” in relationship to my mom, and my unconscious had a really hard time answering that. I said, “I’m the big one” my mother felt so small to me in that moment.

But there was clearly some confusion and my practitioner said it was time for us to stop, but that it was worthwhile to investigate this. I put it away for a few years because I always felt in some ways older than my own mom, but it made no sense to me consciously.

It clicked today that a crucial element of our dynamic when I left home to go to college was my mom constantly texting me to ask me advice on how to parent my younger siblings. And of course I would always give it to her because in some senses, I recognized that I knew better and she did too. That was normal to me, I never realized how strange it was until just now as I’m healing through deeper layers of my family dynamics.

The thought, my parent asked me for advice on how to parent. That sits awkwardly. How could a parent ask their child how to parent after having been their parent? Isn’t this hard evidence for the fact that she didn’t know how, didn’t learn from parenting me, and was never willing to learn? Isn’t this evidence for the fact that she didn’t parent me? These realizations cut through me in such painful ways because I was gaslit all my life to believe that I was wrong, that they knew better, that every time I called them out on how they were abusing me that it wasn’t actually happening and I was just oversensitive and crazy and that it was all my problem.

It makes me see that I was always supposed to be the little one, and it wasn’t a failure on my part that that dynamic between a child and her mother was never developed for me. When I try to readjust my size, visually, I feel like I don’t trust her. I don’t feel safe as her child. I’d rather be the big one- my parents’ parent.

I think it can be such a strange wakeup call for those of us who were put in the position of caring for the people who were supposed to care for us because it shifts our relationship to the world. I remember that for the longest time I always attracted these people who were supposed to care for me- whether they were mentors, teachers, or therapists or the like, who actually ended up needing my care. I didn’t understand why I was caring for people I was paying to help me, how come no one would help me? These imbalanced and strange relationships made me cringe, yet they were so much of my reality that for a period of years I realized I was better alone and not seeking help. Help came with too many strings and too much of an outpour from me.

It wasn’t until a point in my life when it started to clear, and I found myself seeking help from people who could actually help me and didn’t break boundaries or didn’t insert themselves into my healing. I found that I experienced a lot of distrust because of past experiences, and operated from a place of defense which gradually dropped over a long period of time. There was usually a phase of resistance at the beginning when in my mind I tried to convince myself they couldn’t help me, but I usually stuck through it and gave them more chances. This to me was fear, because they were unfamiliar to me (and for those like me, unfamiliar is usually the safer option) and not intuition. This was another moment in which I needed to learn to distill the two, because there is sometimes intuition in fear too. I notice that pure fear comes from my mind, where as instinctual fear comes from my gut.

These people were safe because they didn’t tell me how to be, didn’t tell me what to do, and didn’t get caught in self indulgent and self absorbed emotional dumps that had nothing to do with me. They actually listened to me and wanted to know what was going on, and paid attention, they responded. This at the outset felt so scary to me because I’d never experienced it before. In these experiences no one is the big one and no one is the small one, they’re meeting me on equal footing and they’re here to guide and support, not be my authority.

That of course shaped a lot of the way that I practice too in my integrative sessions. There’s an interesting dynamic that forms that’s so particular, because I can sense when the inner child needs a gentle authority and is at the forefront of the healing. Sometimes the child needs to be seen, heard, and encouraged, sometimes they need to be attuned to in ways that were needed but never given. This is often before the adult and the child have established a healthy connection. Then at other points in time, I’m relating to the adult, and the adult can then liaise with their own inner child. Some clients need a parental energy at the start, and some others need a fierce advocate where they’ve never had one before to initiate and reinforce their developing security.

For those of you who are unaware, I studied power and gender dynamics extensively for many many years. What’s most interesting is in our imbalanced society we think that power is something that is taken, because so many of us actually feel powerless internally as the world is ruled by narcissists and sociopaths. If someone had an internal sense of power, they’d realize they didn’t need to take it from a source outside of themselves, but that’s just the codependent framework of the world at large. Oppression, suppression, taking.

What I came to realize was that power is something that’s received, if it’s given. Everyone has their own sense of power, and if they surrender it freely then that’s when it can be received. I notice these points when people try to do it in my healing practice, and I gently say no. I remind them of what they’re doing and that they have power, and I ask them to take it back.

I think that practitioners are in positions that can be very influential. That’s why I’m so careful about who I work with, especially energetically. Even if I’m not declaring my power, it’s a soft power. That’s what hypnosis and all of these modalities are- they’re exerting influence for change. No one ever saw a healer because they wanted to stay the same. I think it can be dangerous when someone’s ego gets involved or they’re not sensitive enough to the power dynamics at play because they can convince you to do things for self-serving reasons and not reasons for your, or for the, highest good. It’s something that’s always in the back of my mind for me, and for people that I personally hire.

In relating to myself, I’m the big one and the small one simultaneously. As I grow, I learn more about how to parent, and thus parent myself. There are some tangible things that can’t be changed, like how I grew up, but there are elements that can be healed continuously and presently. The dynamic between ourselves is always changing and always has room to grow. That’s where I’m coming to in recent times, is that my relationship to me is the most important relationship I’ll ever have. I may not be able to change what was the dynamic between my mom and me, but my relationship to me is in my full control and I can be hyper aware of the dynamics that I co-create, now.

Meleah's Testimonial

This is Meleah, one of my wonderful clients I’ve had the privilege of working with this past year.

It’s been truly an honor to work with her, and to be able to bear witness to her transformation. I can’t fully express it in words, but I’ll let the vibration come through this writing.

I am so grateful for all of you who take a chance even if it doesn’t feel familiar right away, as the ego struggles against the enormity of the soul’s intelligence.

In all honesty, even if this wasn’t my chosen career I would still be doing this (and have, for all of my life!). It feels so innate to my expression as a human being and soul. To be able to work with someone like Meleah makes it so worthwhile. This is a contract between souls, after all. And you know who can help you and when is the right time, if you pay attention.

The Role of the Practitioner

I find that the ultimate role of the practitioner is one of invisibility. In the work, we’re present, but the work is not about us at all. Meaning, we need to be air-tight with our “stuff”, there’s no room for it, or ego, in session.

Although this practice is a few years old and a few of these modalities are newer, I’ve been healing professionally for almost a decade now. I’ve found that being an effective healer means that we strike the balance of full focus on the client, their energy, what they’re working on, but still being able to offer personal feedback and experience when it can facilitate even deeper understanding and healing for the client when appropriate. This experience is devoid of emotional content, but it’s offered purely as a gift with the intention of aiding someone further in their learning and letting them know they’re not alone in it.

I’ve noticed that when mentoring others in their healing, at the beginning stages it’s hard to distinguish what’s ego, self doubt, and also, separating your own energetic matches from your client’s. It’s easy to put your energy into your sessions (which has the effect of a lot of drain! And can slow down your client’s healing), or to make it about you unconsciously (i.e. I want my client to heal so that I feel good about my work) or to not know if you’re reading something of your clients or your own. I believe this process of separation and distillation becomes easier as time goes on, but also if you commit to healing and dealing with your own stuff outside of the sessions so that you can become clearer, for your work. It is a precarious spot of being both selfless, and meta-conscious.

In my evolution I’ve noticed that it really does become more natural as time goes on.

I’ve also seen countless different healers in the past and have come to realize a few things on this journey:

1. when someone makes it all about themselves with overshares in session, RUN

2. when someone tries to rob you of your autonomy by telling you what you absolutely need to do or makes your choices for you, instead of encouraging you to make your own decisions, (unless you are actually ASKING them to give you a suggestion) RUN

3. when someone doesn’t listen, RUN

4. when someone attributes everything to them- that they are the powerful one RUN

5. when someone spends the majority of the session just being chatty and small talking— waste of time!

6. when someone clearly isn’t dealing with their own stuff or their intentions don’t feel right (their energy will feel dirty or muddy)— RUN

7. when someone makes you feel dependent on them instead of offering you tools and insights for you to work on on your own, RUN. I’ve had many people try to do this to me, they insinuate things to make you feel unhappy, sick, off balance, fearful, hopeless. They distort your reality especially when they see that you’ve made progress and may not need to keep seeing them.

8. when something in your gut tells you this isn’t right, RUN (but distinguish this from resistance- for instance, one of the most powerful first sessions I had, my mind was so in resistance that it was telling me to leave— but similar to how parasites in your gut can trigger your brain to think you need more sugar, sometimes resistance can do the same. Resistance exists because there’s a huge amount of change on the other side- sometimes it’s our own fear, sometimes it’s entities that don’t want us to shift our vibration, sometimes it’s our own minds, our minds love resistance)

9. if someone is trying to convert you to any sort of faith, religion, cult by insinuating you need salvation or what have you, GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE

10. if your practitioner’s needs supersede your own— OMG NO ex. I had a therapist who used to text me about what she was going through in her personal life. She would spend session time talking about it too because she needed an ear. She would ask me about my advertising methods and how I got clients. Towards the end I didn’t need to see her as often anymore as my schedule got busier and she would tell me no, that there was too much time in between and I needed to see her more… but I had never committed to anything, it wasn’t a package or module, I simply didn’t need more sessions at the frequency SHE needed (and, before I even started seeing her I did mention to her I may need some flexibility here and there because of my schedule/travel). I could tell that for her, it wasn’t about me, it was about money.

11. when someone is all just love and light and clearly bypassed, or you can tell they’ve never confronted their shadow elements and are therefore in denial or not well integrated, be careful because they will encourage you to do just that too and they can’t see the “shadow” in others, because they’re scared of their own.

12. When someone isn’t clear in their own truth, if they don’t move you in a way where you know this person is authentic, they can’t see your truth or authenticity either. They can only see you to the extent they can see themselves.

13. Someone’s lifestyle is important. How they invest in and take care of their energy is important. In such an intimate capacity, their energy will affect you, whether positive or negative. Their health will affect you, especially if they’re physically healing you through touch. You don’t want to be left clearing your own stuff AND their stuff too especially if you’ve paid them.

14. If your healer is a psychic/energetic vampire, RUN. They have access to your energy and if they take advantage of that it will not be a good thing for you.

15. Healers are in intimate territories of trust, consent, and influence. Make sure it’s someone you feel safe around and who works in a clean way with all the three above. This means that the person needs to be very high on the light triad.

16. Rate is not the deciding factor. For most people who think about money in 3D terms, as in, you can’t see the intangible, energetic quality of money and you’re only looking for something affordable or a cheap deal, this is really not the place to do that. Your energy and health are on the line and it’s not a good area to skimp out on (think about it- healers, especially energy healers are addressing illnesses sometimes before they’re formed and expressed, meaning, someone’s cancer could’ve been preventable if they had opted to treat it before it formed into a disease, and integrated proper steps towards releasing those energies in the body. In the long run, think about how much pain, suffering, money, time this saves.. a session for a few hundred dollars to prevent hospital bills that could amount to half a million dollars… puts that into perspective. Also, effective healings maximize someone’s quality of life- that is priceless). I’m sure there are AMAZING healers who charge way below what their energy/experience is worth (perhaps they want high volume- but that’s also iffy to me because if someone’s high volume they’re contaminating energy fields likely or not having enough space to rest/clear/recharge in b/t sessions, or they’re relying on their clients to go to them routinely 1-2x a week over a long period of time), but most often the best healings are ones that require you to invest, because already, the rate is not just a material world signage of availability/supply & demand, but it’s set as a boundary- one demarcating the healer knows their worth/skill level/ energetic investment/also likely invests a lot into their energetic maintenance and learning, but also that it will deter those people who are not willing to invest in their own growth and well being. This is an energy/skill exchange and it has to be proportionate. Not to mention, sometimes a higher rate actually saves you time and energy in the long run, because the healing can be exponential and take you farther in one session than what many could do in multiple. Sometimes, investing in what at first looks like it’s something you can’t afford pays dividends and then some, because by working with this person you’re opening up all your channels and therefore attracting more money than you can imagine, afterwards. This is again to reiterate, rate is not the deciding factor, meaning that sometimes someone can charge a high rate that’s empty and not a signage of any of the above. Use your best judgment. I know what you’re thinking- what if you really don’t have the funds to afford a session at a certain rate? The thing is, the right amount of money sometimes materializes by way of the universe if we commit to the session. I’m not kidding, I’ve had this happen myself.

17. Look for resonance- many people have described the feeling of knowing they needed to work with me as a calling in their heart. It’s a really visceral reaction, you’re drawn to this person and know you want to work with them even if your rational mind comes up with a million reasons why you shouldn’t or can’t (money being one of the first ones)

18. If a healer doesn’t model good boundaries it’s not a very good sign. Boundaries are a necessity, priority for the health and wellbeing of anyone in the fields of energy, healing and mental health. Sometimes as we get work with our clients over a long period of time, of course we become closer and the relationship becomes more personal than just professional. But that is an organic transition, and can’t be one that’s forced on anyone. Even then, there are still boundaries.

19. Similar to the above, if a practitioner is making you uncomfortable it’s never a good sign

20. If they display attitudes that are clearly subjective and judgey in your work together, towards you, even when they say they don’t subscribe to those beliefs and are open minded, etc.. — it’s just off.

21. If a healer refuses to work on themselves, it’s ego. GET OUT OF THERE. There’s a social stigma where some healthcare practitioners think it’s a sign of weakness for them to also seek help- this is a very outdated, unconscious belief and it shows me this person is fragile.

22. If a practitioner spends a lot of time pitching other services in a way that is an upsell, less a suggestion where you can genuinely benefit from a workshop, course, or other service. I’ve had many practitioners spend the bulk of my sessions telling me what else I’ll need and it always sat so strangely with me. When I started practicing I vowed never to even mention other services in my work, and when clients asked me for suggestions for how often to see me or what else they needed, I’d always say to refer to their own intuition. However, as my practice has grown, I’ve come to realize that clients sometimes genuinely want your guidance with this! And other times, their guides will suggest services for them that will genuinely benefit them and need you to say it to them. Also, sometimes people new to the work may not know how to scale expectations and some issues they want to work on are tough and may need additional sessions. So my sense on this is if your practitioner is being pushy (and they spend a lot of your session time talking about it), or sales-y or trying to get you to do something you know you don’t need, or they want you to do it because it’s not even about what you need it’s for them, then no. But if you’re genuinely seeking their advice around how often they think would be good for you to see them, or if their suggestion is a soft suggestion based around your work together and what they feel may benefit you, with little to no pressure, then it’s good.

23. This one gives me the creeps: if your practitioner gets really possessive and weird around you working with other people. It’s one thing if it’s very clear that someone else is messing with your client in a bad way (luckily I’ve never encountered this) but to create expectations around your client not seeing other healers, therapists, practitioners is very strange and stalls their progress. It’s lack consciousness. I’m happy when my client has a therapist, or sessions with other intuitives and healers because I’m thinking of my client’s well being. If he/she/they has access to more support and help, they can achieve their goals faster. I know that the majority of practitioners are thinking about their business from a practical standpoint- don’t you want client retention and loyalty? Of course, but that never supersedes my desire for their highest good which is ultimately to grow, and I know that I don’t know everything so if they are getting what they need from someone else that’s amazing! The only way that I can make sure that I continue to have resources and abilities to offer is if I take care of myself and continue growing/learning/healing- and I do not think about clients in lack consciousness- if we reach the end of our work together, that’s our spiritual contract, sometimes our agreements are short, some are long term, and there are a lot of people out there who will find me when we match a in client/healer dynamic and that is dependent on how many obstacles, blocks, lessons I’ve cleared for myself— the demand is on me, not on my client.

24. If your practitioner is consistently late or ends the session early not because you asked them to.. I personally have a sensitivity around this- I feel like it seems disrespectful, also it shows me if someone is ALWAYS late that they might not be organized around time. I understand sometimes in between back to back sessions there may be a lag of a few minutes, but I always make those up, and as a practitioner I understand that sometimes things come up, it’s not always cut and dry, but if someone has a HABIT around being late or ending early or cancelling sessions I usually won’t work with them for that much longer.