I go through phases when I’m upleveling- meaning, raising my vibration and shifting out of an old vibration. I always know this is happening because I’m met with what feels like a rut, a void space, a crash. Everything could be going very well, and then suddenly for a few days at a time it’s like I can’t get out of bed. I crave comfort foods, I withdraw completely. Anything like working out, or reading, or productive, even, seems utterly impossible.
if you are energy sensitive, then you for sure have gone through these phases. Sometimes they’re linked to planetary alignments, moon cycles and collective energies. Other times, they’re just your own process, whether you’re undergoing an ego death or just a vibrational shift. It’s likely that if you aren’t energy sensitive and somehow wandered over to my blog (or even if you are energy sensitive) you could dismiss what I’m saying with other reasons like, say, depression, or a mood disorder, or something hormonal. Trust me, sometimes it’s easier to default to explanations like that because to default to shifting, or contrasting, seems so intangible. What is this inner process that takes us out, out of nowhere?
Energetically, what’s happening is a contraction internally. The new vibration and the older vibration don’t match, so the contrast within creates a turbulence, a chaos, and the old vibration (which is denser) is attempting to cling- which is why when you go through these phases you may have food cravings for foods with no nutritional value even if normally you eat very healthily. Once this contraction happens fully, it releases, and then your energy expands again in a new vibration.
Even though when you’re going through it there’s no way you’d consider this upleveling, since it feels so regressive, just go through it. Once you surrender to it, the whole process becomes easier.
The first time I really experienced this was during my first ego death, or, dark night of the soul. The contraction phase was so intense, I actually thought I was dying. But then, when it released the next morning, I felt infinitely lighter, more connected, more aware, clearer. I felt so incredibly different. Throughout each of these shifts, I learn more and more that it’s human nature to go through resistance with any change, even if it’s internally. And the lower density, or that which wants to stay the same, will put up a fight. It’s the ego after all. With my second ego death, I learned that fear, resistance and separation is only of the ego, and that our power comes from spirit. The moment we stop fighting and surrender to the spirit, we expand and realize there is nothing at all to fear.
Other times, we may undergo a similar process and arrive at a similar place of renewal but through different means. For example, you could be very busy and keep pushing yourself, and your body will know to keep going. But there is deeper emotional processing that you are avoiding, or you simply don’t have the time or luxury to pause for a minute. The body will keep you functioning until you have a moment, and then it hits you and you crash. Everything you pushed away for the last few days, weeks, months, will suddenly have the necessary space to process, and you may surprised by how much emotion is behind it. Every time, it is scary, but it will also up level you and shift you out of whatever changes you’re undergoing, so that you may experience it on the other side with ease.
The thing is, as we grow, as we contract and expand (which is the natural movement of all life— take for example, the Big Bang), we go through cycles of grief- grief for situations, environments we’ve outgrown, and mostly for ourselves. We lose versions of ourselves in order to grow into new ones, and along the way we do need to grieve those losses.
