New Package: Intuitive Dating Coaching

Here’s something new and fun for you— this is something that I’ve done for my friends for quite some time, and I figured in the age we live in of online dating, this could be of help to some of you. Or many of you. Just doing my part in making this available for everyone who wants/needs it.

This package is a combination of my photo reading service and intuitive counseling calls.

The breakdown is as follows: 5 photo readings and 2 30-minute calls.

If you’re back on the dating scene or have been out there for a while, I know how frustrating it can be. It can be a lot of sunken time figuring someone out, getting to know someone, just to be disappointed or find that they’re a replay of a pattern. We may want to know answers, red flags, more information than is provided (unless you’re also super intuitive!) and more than that, we may want to know why we’re attracting this, how our energies will align, what lessons are here and what these interactions mean in the grander scheme of things, psychologically, emotionally and spiritually.

And.. that’s where I come in! So, unlike a matchmaker or dating service which I will never be, I’m not finding people for you— YOU are sending me photos of up to 5 people that you’re dating, or want to date, or just want to suss out. There’s no time limit for this as people obviously differ in how they date- some want to date many and narrow it down, some want to date one at a time.

They say dating is a numbers game. I beg to differ. It’s an intuitive game. When I was dating, out of maybe the 100’s of people who were messaging me, I intuitively knew who I would connect to right away and only would meet them. I didn’t have the time to go out and interact with so many different energies, so it’s a shortcut. If we are aware, we will know who we have chemistry with before the first conversation.

Regardless, I’m open to if you want to send me photos of prospects, or photos of people you are currently dating and I’ll give you all the information I get on them that is of the highest good to know, including red flags. What you do with the information is up to you.

Sometimes we may be caught in cycles of attracting the same type of partner, which may not be for our highest good. That’s where the coaching calls come in- I’ll sense in for the deeper why’s and what this is highlighting in your life, what your unconscious wants to bring to your attention re: patterns, trauma, energetics, attachment styles. I’ll reflect back to you what it is that you’re needing to move through, or perhaps just bring greater awareness of your present state of being as it pertains to attraction.

I find that dating can sometimes shed a lot of light about who we are and what we’re familiar with. It can also be a nebulous, confusing territory, and an overwhelming one at that. So, with my help, we’ll take it one step farther in finding clarity, understanding and healing.

ALSO SAVE YOU A TON OF TIME!

People often ask me how I knew that I was “gifted” and I’ll reply that it started when I was a child, I had a particularly keen insight into people. I’d tell people something— i.e. “this person is hiding x y z,” or “this person is really x y z” and people would be like, “no way” and disregard because it was so different from what was perceivable, i.e. their masks. 1-2 years later, or even more than that, in fact recently someone told me 3-4 years after that I was completely right.

The Role of the Practitioner

I find that the ultimate role of the practitioner is one of invisibility. In the work, we’re present, but the work is not about us at all. Meaning, we need to be air-tight with our “stuff”, there’s no room for it, or ego, in session.

Although this practice is a few years old and a few of these modalities are newer, I’ve been healing professionally for almost a decade now. I’ve found that being an effective healer means that we strike the balance of full focus on the client, their energy, what they’re working on, but still being able to offer personal feedback and experience when it can facilitate even deeper understanding and healing for the client when appropriate. This experience is devoid of emotional content, but it’s offered purely as a gift with the intention of aiding someone further in their learning and letting them know they’re not alone in it.

I’ve noticed that when mentoring others in their healing, at the beginning stages it’s hard to distinguish what’s ego, self doubt, and also, separating your own energetic matches from your client’s. It’s easy to put your energy into your sessions (which has the effect of a lot of drain! And can slow down your client’s healing), or to make it about you unconsciously (i.e. I want my client to heal so that I feel good about my work) or to not know if you’re reading something of your clients or your own. I believe this process of separation and distillation becomes easier as time goes on, but also if you commit to healing and dealing with your own stuff outside of the sessions so that you can become clearer, for your work. It is a precarious spot of being both selfless, and meta-conscious.

In my evolution I’ve noticed that it really does become more natural as time goes on.

I’ve also seen countless different healers in the past and have come to realize a few things on this journey:

1. when someone makes it all about themselves with overshares in session, RUN

2. when someone tries to rob you of your autonomy by telling you what you absolutely need to do or makes your choices for you, instead of encouraging you to make your own decisions, (unless you are actually ASKING them to give you a suggestion) RUN

3. when someone doesn’t listen, RUN

4. when someone attributes everything to them- that they are the powerful one RUN

5. when someone spends the majority of the session just being chatty and small talking— waste of time!

6. when someone clearly isn’t dealing with their own stuff or their intentions don’t feel right (their energy will feel dirty or muddy)— RUN

7. when someone makes you feel dependent on them instead of offering you tools and insights for you to work on on your own, RUN. I’ve had many people try to do this to me, they insinuate things to make you feel unhappy, sick, off balance, fearful, hopeless. They distort your reality especially when they see that you’ve made progress and may not need to keep seeing them.

8. when something in your gut tells you this isn’t right, RUN (but distinguish this from resistance- for instance, one of the most powerful first sessions I had, my mind was so in resistance that it was telling me to leave— but similar to how parasites in your gut can trigger your brain to think you need more sugar, sometimes resistance can do the same. Resistance exists because there’s a huge amount of change on the other side- sometimes it’s our own fear, sometimes it’s entities that don’t want us to shift our vibration, sometimes it’s our own minds, our minds love resistance)

9. if someone is trying to convert you to any sort of faith, religion, cult by insinuating you need salvation or what have you, GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE

10. if your practitioner’s needs supersede your own— OMG NO ex. I had a therapist who used to text me about what she was going through in her personal life. She would spend session time talking about it too because she needed an ear. She would ask me about my advertising methods and how I got clients. Towards the end I didn’t need to see her as often anymore as my schedule got busier and she would tell me no, that there was too much time in between and I needed to see her more… but I had never committed to anything, it wasn’t a package or module, I simply didn’t need more sessions at the frequency SHE needed (and, before I even started seeing her I did mention to her I may need some flexibility here and there because of my schedule/travel). I could tell that for her, it wasn’t about me, it was about money.

11. when someone is all just love and light and clearly bypassed, or you can tell they’ve never confronted their shadow elements and are therefore in denial or not well integrated, be careful because they will encourage you to do just that too and they can’t see the “shadow” in others, because they’re scared of their own.

12. When someone isn’t clear in their own truth, if they don’t move you in a way where you know this person is authentic, they can’t see your truth or authenticity either. They can only see you to the extent they can see themselves.

13. Someone’s lifestyle is important. How they invest in and take care of their energy is important. In such an intimate capacity, their energy will affect you, whether positive or negative. Their health will affect you, especially if they’re physically healing you through touch. You don’t want to be left clearing your own stuff AND their stuff too especially if you’ve paid them.

14. If your healer is a psychic/energetic vampire, RUN. They have access to your energy and if they take advantage of that it will not be a good thing for you.

15. Healers are in intimate territories of trust, consent, and influence. Make sure it’s someone you feel safe around and who works in a clean way with all the three above. This means that the person needs to be very high on the light triad.

16. Rate is not the deciding factor. For most people who think about money in 3D terms, as in, you can’t see the intangible, energetic quality of money and you’re only looking for something affordable or a cheap deal, this is really not the place to do that. Your energy and health are on the line and it’s not a good area to skimp out on (think about it- healers, especially energy healers are addressing illnesses sometimes before they’re formed and expressed, meaning, someone’s cancer could’ve been preventable if they had opted to treat it before it formed into a disease, and integrated proper steps towards releasing those energies in the body. In the long run, think about how much pain, suffering, money, time this saves.. a session for a few hundred dollars to prevent hospital bills that could amount to half a million dollars… puts that into perspective. Also, effective healings maximize someone’s quality of life- that is priceless). I’m sure there are AMAZING healers who charge way below what their energy/experience is worth (perhaps they want high volume- but that’s also iffy to me because if someone’s high volume they’re contaminating energy fields likely or not having enough space to rest/clear/recharge in b/t sessions, or they’re relying on their clients to go to them routinely 1-2x a week over a long period of time), but most often the best healings are ones that require you to invest, because already, the rate is not just a material world signage of availability/supply & demand, but it’s set as a boundary- one demarcating the healer knows their worth/skill level/ energetic investment/also likely invests a lot into their energetic maintenance and learning, but also that it will deter those people who are not willing to invest in their own growth and well being. This is an energy/skill exchange and it has to be proportionate. Not to mention, sometimes a higher rate actually saves you time and energy in the long run, because the healing can be exponential and take you farther in one session than what many could do in multiple. Sometimes, investing in what at first looks like it’s something you can’t afford pays dividends and then some, because by working with this person you’re opening up all your channels and therefore attracting more money than you can imagine, afterwards. This is again to reiterate, rate is not the deciding factor, meaning that sometimes someone can charge a high rate that’s empty and not a signage of any of the above. Use your best judgment. I know what you’re thinking- what if you really don’t have the funds to afford a session at a certain rate? The thing is, the right amount of money sometimes materializes by way of the universe if we commit to the session. I’m not kidding, I’ve had this happen myself.

17. Look for resonance- many people have described the feeling of knowing they needed to work with me as a calling in their heart. It’s a really visceral reaction, you’re drawn to this person and know you want to work with them even if your rational mind comes up with a million reasons why you shouldn’t or can’t (money being one of the first ones)

18. If a healer doesn’t model good boundaries it’s not a very good sign. Boundaries are a necessity, priority for the health and wellbeing of anyone in the fields of energy, healing and mental health. Sometimes as we get work with our clients over a long period of time, of course we become closer and the relationship becomes more personal than just professional. But that is an organic transition, and can’t be one that’s forced on anyone. Even then, there are still boundaries.

19. Similar to the above, if a practitioner is making you uncomfortable it’s never a good sign

20. If they display attitudes that are clearly subjective and judgey in your work together, towards you, even when they say they don’t subscribe to those beliefs and are open minded, etc.. — it’s just off.

21. If a healer refuses to work on themselves, it’s ego. GET OUT OF THERE. There’s a social stigma where some healthcare practitioners think it’s a sign of weakness for them to also seek help- this is a very outdated, unconscious belief and it shows me this person is fragile.

22. If a practitioner spends a lot of time pitching other services in a way that is an upsell, less a suggestion where you can genuinely benefit from a workshop, course, or other service. I’ve had many practitioners spend the bulk of my sessions telling me what else I’ll need and it always sat so strangely with me. When I started practicing I vowed never to even mention other services in my work, and when clients asked me for suggestions for how often to see me or what else they needed, I’d always say to refer to their own intuition. However, as my practice has grown, I’ve come to realize that clients sometimes genuinely want your guidance with this! And other times, their guides will suggest services for them that will genuinely benefit them and need you to say it to them. Also, sometimes people new to the work may not know how to scale expectations and some issues they want to work on are tough and may need additional sessions. So my sense on this is if your practitioner is being pushy (and they spend a lot of your session time talking about it), or sales-y or trying to get you to do something you know you don’t need, or they want you to do it because it’s not even about what you need it’s for them, then no. But if you’re genuinely seeking their advice around how often they think would be good for you to see them, or if their suggestion is a soft suggestion based around your work together and what they feel may benefit you, with little to no pressure, then it’s good.

23. This one gives me the creeps: if your practitioner gets really possessive and weird around you working with other people. It’s one thing if it’s very clear that someone else is messing with your client in a bad way (luckily I’ve never encountered this) but to create expectations around your client not seeing other healers, therapists, practitioners is very strange and stalls their progress. It’s lack consciousness. I’m happy when my client has a therapist, or sessions with other intuitives and healers because I’m thinking of my client’s well being. If he/she/they has access to more support and help, they can achieve their goals faster. I know that the majority of practitioners are thinking about their business from a practical standpoint- don’t you want client retention and loyalty? Of course, but that never supersedes my desire for their highest good which is ultimately to grow, and I know that I don’t know everything so if they are getting what they need from someone else that’s amazing! The only way that I can make sure that I continue to have resources and abilities to offer is if I take care of myself and continue growing/learning/healing- and I do not think about clients in lack consciousness- if we reach the end of our work together, that’s our spiritual contract, sometimes our agreements are short, some are long term, and there are a lot of people out there who will find me when we match a in client/healer dynamic and that is dependent on how many obstacles, blocks, lessons I’ve cleared for myself— the demand is on me, not on my client.

24. If your practitioner is consistently late or ends the session early not because you asked them to.. I personally have a sensitivity around this- I feel like it seems disrespectful, also it shows me if someone is ALWAYS late that they might not be organized around time. I understand sometimes in between back to back sessions there may be a lag of a few minutes, but I always make those up, and as a practitioner I understand that sometimes things come up, it’s not always cut and dry, but if someone has a HABIT around being late or ending early or cancelling sessions I usually won’t work with them for that much longer.

Narcissistic Abuse

This is speaking on behalf of the narcissistic abuse victim—

Pathological narcissists rely on fracturing their victim’s identity, so that they’re cut off from themselves. That’s why there’s so much gaslighting, denial, blame shifting and usage of distraction mechanisms. When you’re cut off from your inner knowing, it becomes harder to see the truth.

An example of this is, say, a narcissistic partner is cheating on you. You may get an intuitive sense that something isn’t right, but every time you ask, you’re put in the spotlight or told that you’re crazy. Examples of how this can take place:

1. How can you accuse me of something like that? I’ve never done that in my life (lying, denial, blame shifting- because now you’re the bad person, you’ve accused them)

2. Can you give me the benefit of the doubt? (blame shifting- it’s your fault)

3. You’re too sensitive (gaslighting)

4. You’re imagining things (gaslighting)

5. You’re crazy (gaslighting)

6. I tell you everything (lying, manipulation)

7. You weren’t right about x so how can you be right about this? (gaslighting, creating doubt)

8. Admission of something else, to cover up their deceit (a bid to appear honest, but still lying)

9. Active refusal to engage (stonewalling, punishing)

10. You’ve had bad experiences in the past so you’re projecting onto me (blame shifting)

11. Actual distortion of truth and the importance of honesty (i.e. I’m not lying about anything, I don’t count that as lying)

12. Everyone lies it’s not a big deal, or everyone does it, it’s not a big deal (minimizing)

13. I was just so lonely! It was your fault! (blame shifting, plea for sympathy)

14. They get angry and cause a scene (distraction)

15. You always need to be right don’t you? It’s like your ego can’t handle if you aren’t (blame shifting)

This isn’t all of it! There are countless manipulation tactics the narcissist can employ to make you feel like it’s YOU who’s paranoid, or ill, or to have reason to doubt yourself and your intuition. You can feel like you’re the bad guy for accusing someone so good. When this happens in the long term, victims often feel cut off from themselves, from their power, from their inner voices. This can manifest in depression, anxiety, panic attacks and actually feeling like you are going crazy. Something feels very off, and you feel more and more distant to yourself, to your family and friends. You wonder why your world just doesn’t feel the same way it used to. Where’s your joy? Why do you feel drained all the time?

This is a similar energy that some things like cults will do, or bad gurus.

The reason why these tactics are employed are because if you are out of body, if you are shut down, if you are separated from yourself, then you end up attacking yourself and doing the work for them. An example of this would be, the inner dialogue would be convincing yourself that you’re imagining things, or being paranoid, or convincing yourself that the narcissist is amazing and you don’t deserve them. Your mind goes overboard trying to rectify the cognitive dissonance you are feeling about the situation and the person, and also trying to quiet all the warning signals in the body. You then become more compliant, because you’re cut off from your power. You become more easily manipulated. You’ve surrendered.

Other ways we can feel when we are caught up in narcissistic abuse cycles are: insecure, we may even feel unable to sleep, we may have various ailments pop up out of nowhere, we may get colds all the time even though previously our immune systems were strong, we may find ourselves fixating on the narcissist to the detriment of our own lives. We may start feel really bad about ourselves, or fixating on our flaws, or working tirelessly to improve our communication skills or some aspect of ourselves because we feel like we are to blame (even though the narcissist does nothing). If in a romantic relationship, we may feel very jealous even though we’re not normally jealous. We may also feel very off balance, or unstable, when usually we aren’t this way. The narcissist will use this against you too, even though it’s their instability and chaos that’s making you feel these things.

WATCH OUT FOR THIS. Even though some of us might not be ready in various stages to see how we’re being manipulated because we can really care for, and love the other person, we need to listen to our bodies when we notice something like this happening.

It is what is called, “Crazymaking”. You’re not crazy, but they’ll make you feel like you are. They’ll keep devaluing you, insinuating things to diminish you until you feel so small. This helps them feel bigger, better, and maintain their illusion. They need YOU to believe in their good in order to feel that they are. They need YOU to feel crazy so that they don’t feel their shame about cheating, or their addictions and lies. Essentially, they need YOU to take over responsibility and blame. Narcissists rely heavily on outside feedback, and if they have their one person, their victim, who reflects back what they want to hear and believe about themselves, then everything is ok in their world. Their egos remain afloat, their secrets remain hidden, their truth becomes obscured, and their shame and inferiority are tucked away.