I find that the ultimate role of the practitioner is one of invisibility. In the work, we’re present, but the work is not about us at all. Meaning, we need to be air-tight with our “stuff”, there’s no room for it, or ego, in session.
Although this practice is a few years old and a few of these modalities are newer, I’ve been healing professionally for almost a decade now. I’ve found that being an effective healer means that we strike the balance of full focus on the client, their energy, what they’re working on, but still being able to offer personal feedback and experience when it can facilitate even deeper understanding and healing for the client when appropriate. This experience is devoid of emotional content, but it’s offered purely as a gift with the intention of aiding someone further in their learning and letting them know they’re not alone in it.
I’ve noticed that when mentoring others in their healing, at the beginning stages it’s hard to distinguish what’s ego, self doubt, and also, separating your own energetic matches from your client’s. It’s easy to put your energy into your sessions (which has the effect of a lot of drain! And can slow down your client’s healing), or to make it about you unconsciously (i.e. I want my client to heal so that I feel good about my work) or to not know if you’re reading something of your clients or your own. I believe this process of separation and distillation becomes easier as time goes on, but also if you commit to healing and dealing with your own stuff outside of the sessions so that you can become clearer, for your work. It is a precarious spot of being both selfless, and meta-conscious.
In my evolution I’ve noticed that it really does become more natural as time goes on.
I’ve also seen countless different healers in the past and have come to realize a few things on this journey:
when someone makes it all about themselves with overshares in session, RUN
when someone tries to rob you of your autonomy by telling you what you absolutely need to do or makes your choices for you, instead of encouraging you to make your own decisions, (unless you are actually ASKING them to give you a suggestion) RUN
when someone doesn’t listen, RUN
when someone attributes everything to them- that they are the powerful one RUN
when someone spends the majority of the session just being chatty and small talking— waste of time!
when someone clearly isn’t dealing with their own stuff or their intentions don’t feel right (their energy will feel dirty or muddy)— RUN
when someone makes you feel dependent on them instead of offering you tools and insights for you to work on on your own, RUN. I’ve had many people try to do this to me, they insinuate things to make you feel unhappy, sick, off balance, fearful, hopeless. They distort your reality especially when they see that you’ve made progress and may not need to keep seeing them.
when something in your gut tells you this isn’t right, RUN (but distinguish this from resistance- for instance, one of the most powerful first sessions I had, my mind was so in resistance that it was telling me to leave— but similar to how parasites in your gut can trigger your brain to think you need more sugar, sometimes resistance can do the same. Resistance exists because there’s a huge amount of change on the other side- sometimes it’s our own fear, sometimes it’s entities that don’t want us to shift our vibration, sometimes it’s our own minds, our minds love resistance)
if someone is trying to convert you to any sort of faith, religion, cult by insinuating you need salvation or what have you, GET THE FUCK OUT OF THERE
if your practitioner’s needs supersede your own— OMG NO ex. I had a therapist who used to text me about what she was going through in her personal life. She would spend session time talking about it too because she needed an ear. She would ask me about my advertising methods and how I got clients. Towards the end I didn’t need to see her as often anymore as my schedule got busier and she would tell me no, that there was too much time in between and I needed to see her more… but I had never committed to anything, it wasn’t a package or module, I simply didn’t need more sessions at the frequency SHE needed (and, before I even started seeing her I did mention to her I may need some flexibility here and there because of my schedule/travel). I could tell that for her, it wasn’t about me, it was about money.
when someone is all just love and light and clearly bypassed, or you can tell they’ve never confronted their shadow elements and are therefore in denial or not well integrated, be careful because they will encourage you to do just that too and they can’t see the “shadow” in others, because they’re scared of their own.
When someone isn’t clear in their own truth, if they don’t move you in a way where you know this person is authentic, they can’t see your truth or authenticity either. They can only see you to the extent they can see themselves.
Someone’s lifestyle is important. How they invest in and take care of their energy is important. In such an intimate capacity, their energy will affect you, whether positive or negative. Their health will affect you, especially if they’re physically healing you through touch. You don’t want to be left clearing your own stuff AND their stuff too especially if you’ve paid them.
If your healer is a psychic/energetic vampire, RUN. They have access to your energy and if they take advantage of that it will not be a good thing for you.
Healers are in intimate territories of trust, consent, and influence. Make sure it’s someone you feel safe around and who works in a clean way with all the three above. This means that the person needs to be very high on the light triad.
Rate is not the deciding factor. For most people who think about money in 3D terms, as in, you can’t see the intangible, energetic quality of money and you’re only looking for something affordable or a cheap deal, this is really not the place to do that. Your energy and health are on the line and it’s not a good area to skimp out on (think about it- healers, especially energy healers are addressing illnesses sometimes before they’re formed and expressed, meaning, someone’s cancer could’ve been preventable if they had opted to treat it before it formed into a disease, and integrated proper steps towards releasing those energies in the body. In the long run, think about how much pain, suffering, money, time this saves.. a session for a few hundred dollars to prevent hospital bills that could amount to half a million dollars… puts that into perspective. Also, effective healings maximize someone’s quality of life- that is priceless). I’m sure there are AMAZING healers who charge way below what their energy/experience is worth (perhaps they want high volume- but that’s also iffy to me because if someone’s high volume they’re contaminating energy fields likely or not having enough space to rest/clear/recharge in b/t sessions, or they’re relying on their clients to go to them routinely 1-2x a week over a long period of time), but most often the best healings are ones that require you to invest, because already, the rate is not just a material world signage of availability/supply & demand, but it’s set as a boundary- one demarcating the healer knows their worth/skill level/ energetic investment/also likely invests a lot into their energetic maintenance and learning, but also that it will deter those people who are not willing to invest in their own growth and well being. This is an energy/skill exchange and it has to be proportionate. Not to mention, sometimes a higher rate actually saves you time and energy in the long run, because the healing can be exponential and take you farther in one session than what many could do in multiple. Sometimes, investing in what at first looks like it’s something you can’t afford pays dividends and then some, because by working with this person you’re opening up all your channels and therefore attracting more money than you can imagine, afterwards. This is again to reiterate, rate is not the deciding factor, meaning that sometimes someone can charge a high rate that’s empty and not a signage of any of the above. Use your best judgment. I know what you’re thinking- what if you really don’t have the funds to afford a session at a certain rate? The thing is, the right amount of money sometimes materializes by way of the universe if we commit to the session. I’m not kidding, I’ve had this happen myself.
Look for resonance- many people have described the feeling of knowing they needed to work with me as a calling in their heart. It’s a really visceral reaction, you’re drawn to this person and know you want to work with them even if your rational mind comes up with a million reasons why you shouldn’t or can’t (money being one of the first ones)
If a healer doesn’t model good boundaries it’s not a very good sign. Boundaries are a necessity, priority for the health and wellbeing of anyone in the fields of energy, healing and mental health. Sometimes as we get work with our clients over a long period of time, of course we become closer and the relationship becomes more personal than just professional. But that is an organic transition, and can’t be one that’s forced on anyone. Even then, there are still boundaries.
Similar to the above, if a practitioner is making you uncomfortable it’s never a good sign
If they display attitudes that are clearly subjective and judgey in your work together, towards you, even when they say they don’t subscribe to those beliefs and are open minded, etc.. — it’s just off.
If a healer refuses to work on themselves, it’s ego. GET OUT OF THERE. There’s a social stigma where some healthcare practitioners think it’s a sign of weakness for them to also seek help- this is a very outdated, unconscious belief and it shows me this person is fragile.
If a practitioner spends a lot of time pitching other services in a way that is an upsell, less a suggestion where you can genuinely benefit from a workshop, course, or other service. I’ve had many practitioners spend the bulk of my sessions telling me what else I’ll need and it always sat so strangely with me. When I started practicing I vowed never to even mention other services in my work, and when clients asked me for suggestions for how often to see me or what else they needed, I’d always say to refer to their own intuition. However, as my practice has grown, I’ve come to realize that clients sometimes genuinely want your guidance with this! And other times, their guides will suggest services for them that will genuinely benefit them and need you to say it to them. Also, sometimes people new to the work may not know how to scale expectations and some issues they want to work on are tough and may need additional sessions. So my sense on this is if your practitioner is being pushy (and they spend a lot of your session time talking about it), or sales-y or trying to get you to do something you know you don’t need, or they want you to do it because it’s not even about what you need it’s for them, then no. But if you’re genuinely seeking their advice around how often they think would be good for you to see them, or if their suggestion is a soft suggestion based around your work together and what they feel may benefit you, with little to no pressure, then it’s good.
This one gives me the creeps: if your practitioner gets really possessive and weird around you working with other people. It’s one thing if it’s very clear that someone else is messing with your client in a bad way (luckily I’ve never encountered this) but to create expectations around your client not seeing other healers, therapists, practitioners is very strange and stalls their progress. It’s lack consciousness. I’m happy when my client has a therapist, or sessions with other intuitives and healers because I’m thinking of my client’s well being. If he/she/they has access to more support and help, they can achieve their goals faster. I know that the majority of practitioners are thinking about their business from a practical standpoint- don’t you want client retention and loyalty? Of course, but that never supersedes my desire for their highest good which is ultimately to grow, and I know that I don’t know everything so if they are getting what they need from someone else that’s amazing! The only way that I can make sure that I continue to have resources and abilities to offer is if I take care of myself and continue growing/learning/healing- and I do not think about clients in lack consciousness- if we reach the end of our work together, that’s our spiritual contract, sometimes our agreements are short, some are long term, and there are a lot of people out there who will find me when we match a in client/healer dynamic and that is dependent on how many obstacles, blocks, lessons I’ve cleared for myself— the demand is on me, not on my client.
If your practitioner is consistently late or ends the session early not because you asked them to.. I personally have a sensitivity around this- I feel like it seems disrespectful, also it shows me if someone is ALWAYS late that they might not be organized around time. I understand sometimes in between back to back sessions there may be a lag of a few minutes, but I always make those up, and as a practitioner I understand that sometimes things come up, it’s not always cut and dry, but if someone has a HABIT around being late or ending early or cancelling sessions I usually won’t work with them for that much longer.