Recently, I’ve been drawn to cultivating my masculine energy. It was brought to my attention by a shaman I worked with that it was time to work with the masculine, since for a long time I’d been healing my feminine energy. That’s just how I operated in the world, and as she said, it’s like getting used to writing with your right hand.

I think some part of me unconsciously was afraid to work so much with my masculine energy, because I myself present as a cis-gendered woman. I wanted to be feminine, that’s just my preference as everyone has their own preference. I had somehow wrongly thought that my masculine energy might override my feminine energy, but that’s not at all what happens.

When someone’s M/F polarities are balanced, the M allows the F to blossom and grow. It holds the space, creates the container for the F energy. When someone is only running feminine energy, their presence becomes a little too “soft” so to speak, and although I firmly believe there is power in the feminine energy, and a distinct kind, it can be more amplified with a good M counterpart.

When someone is too in the M, then there’s a sense of burnout- energy is externalized, focused, but there’s not so much surrender and blossoming that can be extremely enriching.

Until we balance out our own polarities, we will keep matching with our counterparts- if I’m running very Yin/F energy, then I’ll naturally be drawn to very Yang/M energy because my energy naturally wants to create a balance. If it can’t do it internally, it will find ways externally. The more we consciously mediate this, the more it we meet other people on opposite polarities who are learning to do this too, and eventually you strike a balance together, and individually, as opposed to the unhealthy version which is your energies become codependent and rely on each other to establish a balance, eternally.

People keep asking how I feel about COVID- and the truth is, initially I wasn’t afraid from the immunity POV- but as the reality set in when I saw how much it affected my life and my friend’s lives, I became very stressed. But that is what makes us susceptible. That is what compromises our immune system.

From a 3D perspective, I was devastated. My life for the next few weeks were solid as I had planned them to be- lots to be excited about and things were falling into place. Then everything came to a halt

As the emails started piling in about shut downs every 10 minutes and work was cancelled, as the news got worse and worse, I knew that I needed to shift my mental, emotional, energetic state- and I did that by implementing intensive self care. What does my self care look like?

Face masks! I just love these!
Qi Gong
Meditation
Yoga
Jacuzzi time!
Epsom salt bath/using it on your chakras in the shower
Learning (reading/podcasts)
EFT
JOURNALING EXTENSIVELY
Ginger tea!

And then, after 4 hours, I reached a state of peace. Oddly, what I noticed is I had no interest in reaching out to anyone (which arguably, we’re doing a lot of right now, seeking comfort, sharing woes, getting our social needs met) because I felt so content and well- and again, that’s our choice isn’t it. We can’t control our external circumstances, but we can choose how we feel about it and what we do.

Admittedly there was a sense of guilt that was plaguing me. How dare I feel well when everyone else feels awful about this, and how can I feel well in light of all of this? Well, that’s the best thing we can do, because negativity spreads faster. We want to be the beacons of light that show and grant other people the permission to feel just as empowered right now, despite what we might be facing.

Today, I spent the day sorting through what viruses live within- metaphorically speaking, and not. External circumstances can lead to heavy re-evaluation of the internal, at least I choose to see them this way- and I saw lingering belief patterns that don’t serve me, as well as people that are in my life that have toxic traits. As I got further into this today, I suddenly had a vision of a child, who was clearly below poverty lines, crying, so scared. That affected me profoundly.

I started to realize how self-absorbed the people who exhibit toxic traits are, and that I’d still permitted in my life were, and how that was taking away valuable bandwidth from my life and energy that I could be using to help people who were truly in need. Not to mention, I started to see that I was self absorbed by thinking so much of them, when I could have been using the time and energy I invested in them, or struggled with them, for the higher good. All of those people who are stuck in victim mentality have homes, food, employment, and more. A lot more than they need, yet it’s not enough to them- and here I was feeling helpless in the world because I felt I didn’t have enough to help on the level I wanted- but I realized that couldn’t stop me from contributing what I have right now and bypassing my fears about my future. Because it’s possible those are unfounded, and as quickly as things went downhill, they could go uphill again- we just never know.

Someone asked me today what my takeaway from all of this is, and that answer was:

I see people clearer now- people show their true natures in times of crisis
that I have unwavering faith in the universe and in spirit.

Sometimes point 2 is all we need to be reminded of.

When it got really bad, on Thursday, I sensed so much-

For those of you not into esoteric concepts, this is a good place to stop! For those of you tuned into higher dimensions, here you go:

I’ve felt so much energy- positive, protective energy around me. I’ve seen many many benevolent guides around me, and they seem to be reminding me and supporting me through this. I know that if I’m experiencing this, I’m not the only one.

This reminds me of two times I had an ego death- I had just as many benevolent spirits popping in to say hello- and I was reminded that fear is of the ego, and control is of the ego, and that if we surrender, we’re in good hands.

I know that there are horrible times and I’m not at all belittling the negative impact of this- but I do also know that when there’s something like this, there are good things that come of it too- and I feel hope, because I truly truly feel it.

And in the mean time I’ll do my part and contribute what I can, including researching ways I can volunteer. Because the gift from all of this is free time. But the choice is up to us what we do with it. It’s also our choice what vibration we want to be in.