New Package: Intuitive Dating Coaching

Here’s something new and fun for you— this is something that I’ve done for my friends for quite some time, and I figured in the age we live in of online dating, this could be of help to some of you. Or many of you. Just doing my part in making this available for everyone who wants/needs it.

This package is a combination of my photo reading service and intuitive counseling calls.

The breakdown is as follows: 5 photo readings and 2 30-minute calls.

If you’re back on the dating scene or have been out there for a while, I know how frustrating it can be. It can be a lot of sunken time figuring someone out, getting to know someone, just to be disappointed or find that they’re a replay of a pattern. We may want to know answers, red flags, more information than is provided (unless you’re also super intuitive!) and more than that, we may want to know why we’re attracting this, how our energies will align, what lessons are here and what these interactions mean in the grander scheme of things, psychologically, emotionally and spiritually.

And.. that’s where I come in! So, unlike a matchmaker or dating service which I will never be, I’m not finding people for you— YOU are sending me photos of up to 5 people that you’re dating, or want to date, or just want to suss out. There’s no time limit for this as people obviously differ in how they date- some want to date many and narrow it down, some want to date one at a time.

They say dating is a numbers game. I beg to differ. It’s an intuitive game. When I was dating, out of maybe the 100’s of people who were messaging me, I intuitively knew who I would connect to right away and only would meet them. I didn’t have the time to go out and interact with so many different energies, so it’s a shortcut. If we are aware, we will know who we have chemistry with before the first conversation.

Regardless, I’m open to if you want to send me photos of prospects, or photos of people you are currently dating and I’ll give you all the information I get on them that is of the highest good to know, including red flags. What you do with the information is up to you.

Sometimes we may be caught in cycles of attracting the same type of partner, which may not be for our highest good. That’s where the coaching calls come in- I’ll sense in for the deeper why’s and what this is highlighting in your life, what your unconscious wants to bring to your attention re: patterns, trauma, energetics, attachment styles. I’ll reflect back to you what it is that you’re needing to move through, or perhaps just bring greater awareness of your present state of being as it pertains to attraction.

I find that dating can sometimes shed a lot of light about who we are and what we’re familiar with. It can also be a nebulous, confusing territory, and an overwhelming one at that. So, with my help, we’ll take it one step farther in finding clarity, understanding and healing.

ALSO SAVE YOU A TON OF TIME!

People often ask me how I knew that I was “gifted” and I’ll reply that it started when I was a child, I had a particularly keen insight into people. I’d tell people something— i.e. “this person is hiding x y z,” or “this person is really x y z” and people would be like, “no way” and disregard because it was so different from what was perceivable, i.e. their masks. 1-2 years later, or even more than that, in fact recently someone told me 3-4 years after that I was completely right.

The Rebound Effect

As you raise your vibration, it’s really interesting to watch what happens to the rebound effect. Meaning, the faster our energy vibrates the quicker our positive intentions/karma comes back to us. The same happens for negative intentions.

It’s almost like the things we got away with before at a lower state of vibration/consciousness are things that we are just not allowed to do anymore, at a higher level of consciousness. When we’re in tune with universal laws, we are “checked” rather quickly, as much as we are rewarded.

As we get into more flow and start to utilize the energy currents available to us, I can see my intentions manifesting within hours, days, sometimes near instantaneous. Before, it seemed to take a lot longer. Sometimes my manifestations would take months to become physicalized.

The universe requires you to stand in your integrity as you raise your consciousness. When you aren’t living in accordance to your best, it really isn’t that the universe punishes you in any way, it moreso gives you a sudden reminder to stop. You do reap what you sow, however, so it’s not that the universe punishes you for putting out negative intent, it just delivers it right back to you until you learn your lesson.

Addictions

We’re all familiar with the obvious ways addictions can show up: recreational drugs, alcohol, food, sex and drugs

Those can bring us into dark territories and serve to numb and sedate us, and fill an inexplicable void.

Then there are the innocuous ones like coffee and work which are typically normalized and not so extreme

But what about the ones like love, sugar, social media, technology, adrenaline or feeling bad about ourselves?

In the past few years, my diet has become a lot cleaner. As I venture farther on my spiritual path I’ve stopped imbibing in alcohol and any sort of drugs as my body becomes more sensitive and as I stop partaking in normalized social behaviors. When I worked a full time job, it was expected of me to grab a drink with coworkers, or friends after works, or even clients. Alcoholism seemed so embedded in our social etiquette and in our coming of age narratives too. Everyone thinks of college as the time of experimentation with drugs, alcohol and sex.

Although I’ve gone months to a full year sometimes cutting out alcohol, drugs and/or sex, as my life becomes cleaner it forces me to re-evaluate where “softer” addictions still occupy spaces in my life and why it is that society normalizes these addictions, as well as what I’m trying to distract from by using them.

For instance, I’ve recently cut out sugar as part of a preparatory cleanse. This made me conscious about how sugar is literally in everything. For a day or two I felt depressed because I couldn’t engage in my life normally. With cutting out caffeine entirely, too, (I haven’t had any coffee in years but I do like green tea and matcha), my life drastically change and took on a new consciousness. I had to read food labels carefully. I couldn’t go to “grab a matcha” whenever I was feeling antsy at home or to distract from how tired I was some days. Without sugar, I quickly realized how hard it was to eat out, even at healthy vegan restaurants. Even my salad dressing has maple syrup in it!

Beginning in January I also stopped dating entirely and deleted every dating app. I started to realize how much of my time/energy/attention was being sapped by just scrolling through dating apps when I was bored. This was time that could’ve been spent on myself, instead it was spent swiping. I also took a break from all social media for a few months and did a technology cleanse for a few days. It became more apparent how inextricable it all is to our functioning- our addictions become essential to being productive in our lives.

I noticed I also had a habit of trying to make myself feel bad about myself. I used to be codependent, and codependency is an addiction. When we are addicted to narcissistic dynamics, we are obsessed with feeling bad about ourselves or finding ways we are dysfunctional or unlovable. This pattern felt so much a part of my life because it was modeled after caregivers that I didn’t even recognize it as an addiction I could free myself from.

All of this is making it clearer for me to see where it is I’m still “dependent” and where I have absolute autonomy in my life. The wonderful thing is that the more we take control over these aspects and clear our more addictions, more ways we give away our power, the more confident we feel in our lives. It is directly related.

I write this to encourage you to take inventory of your life too. How much of it is based on forms of addiction? What is it that you’re distracting yourself from, and what is it filling in your life? Often times we default to addictions because of unhealed patterns, not to mention addictions fill the spaces between the connection with ourselves. When we avoid things, we usually opt for addictions, even if it’s just anxiety that we’re smoking or drinking away. Maybe it’s loneliness and emptiness that fuels someone to engage in compulsive sex or dating. Some of these patterns of behavior feel so normalized in modern day, but that doesn’t mean that they’re adding to our health and happiness. In fact, I’d argue that they’re drastically decreasing our wellbeing. These mechanisms serve to sever our connection to ourselves more.

The more addictions I clear out, the more I notice more of what I’m suppressing in my emotional body. Although I’m well aware of my internal processes at this stage of my life, I get to see more nooks and crannies so to speak, the more I rid of these coping mechanisms. This is difficult, but this is the challenge of being human and the clarity, self control that’s achievable on the other side is well worth it, in my mind.

Updates

I’ve been taking a break since the beginning of January— this work can take a toll. I had reached absolute burnout.

Lots of rest was necessary, as was taking an inventory of my energy— where am I giving it away? Where can I trim?

As much as these burnouts can be scary, they also force me to consider the basics: how am I sleeping, eating, taking care of myself overall? How is my health?

I feel incredibly honored to do the work that I do. I know that not everyone can do it, and some of us are born with the innate ability for it. That being said, we’re still not machines, and our superego sometimes demands that we perform as such. And nothing can prepare you for this- it’s not cut and dry, it’s perpetual learning. The deeper you go, the more energies you come in contact with, the more territories internal and etheric you need to master. This work also makes you confront yourself and your limits in sometimes, grueling ways.

Anyway, I’ll be back "in office” starting next week- my session frequency will be limited for some time. If it’s an emergency and you’re a returning client, you’re welcome to email me to check in about scheduling. Once in a while I’ll have an open spot even if it’s unmarked on my calendar. And I will do my best to make time for you.

Since I’ve had such a positive response to the group remote reiki circles, I’ll try to do more of them. I do them very rarely since it is a lot to manage energetically— sometimes my body is tasked with processing everything and when it’s a big group it can be a lot. I may cap them to 5 or so. Please shoot me an email if you’re interested in joining the mailing list for this: maria@alternativereiki.org Subject: Remote Circle

It’s been such a great group joining each time, and I have clients who email me months after to tell me they’re still feeling the effects!

Lastly, I’ve personally been thinking a lot about the intentions I took into the new year and how they’re already manifesting, or how I’m holding myself personally accountable. Sometimes we can get stuck in emotions and not see the bigger picture.

Hold Steady! Great Conjunction Update

A lot of us are going through huge life shifts at this moment and experiencing turbulence on the spiritual and bodily level. I myself am, and here’s an explanation that I’m both channeling, am learning from my personal experience and have gleaned from a meeting with a shaman that I work with.

With the Great Conjunction and Winter Solstice, we were all shifting and letting go of a lot of the weighty past that couldn’t come with us into where we’re heading, into the new year, into a new world and energy. Some of you know that that time marked the official beginning of the “Age of Aquarius” which I always thought of as such a woo-woo term, but I myself do feel the drastic change in energy. You may have noticed that a lot of contrast was highlighted- some people started really going downhill in their life and some people started upgrading. Within each of us is that exact contrast, as we each internally go through that sifting process of what to keep and what to leave behind.

With the earth being flooded with charged vibrational energy our bodies are forced to release a lot of density that we may have accumulated our whole lives. Old aches, pains, memories, negative emotions especially at the survival level of root and sacral are all coming up for review- that means everything to do with foundation (childhood), home, safety, relationships and emotions. I’ve noticed especially with women, and through my own experience, a lot of this centers around healing of the womb in a new way, a deeper way. We’re clearing a level of female wounding, collectively. So, pain in the womb, UTI’s may come seemingly out of nowhere.

For those of us who “completed” what we needed to work out before the winter solstice, it is an easier ride as we made enough space to integrate the light energy. For those of us who didn’t, it may feel a lot harder because the energies are amplifying the density as it forcibly moves it out, if we choose to upgrade that is.

The shaman that I work with mentioned that the full Saturn/Jupiter conjunction didn’t happen- the overlap wasn’t exact, and therefore instead of merging 3D to 5D, it split the timeline into two, so now 3d and 5d are both happening at once. That’s why there’s such a stark contrast. Each of us are given a choice to make, do we want to stay in 3d or do we want to shift to 5d and stay there? 3d is where there’s fear. We’re given the choice through engagement, as we will get tested with the people and situations around us that either are of the 3d or the 5d and we can decide what course to take.

In the last 2 months I was given a very strong test. I almost didn’t make it, but luckily as I reaped the lessons and broke the energetic/spiritual contracts, I made a decisive cut of the energy that could no longer exist in my life. If the energy is a person, that means you need to de-personalize them because the 5d is about the energetics. I needed to make a necessary cut in my life, no matter how much I liked the person and needed to hold on. You’ll come to find that people who were in your life for a long long time who didn’t shift over to 5d, and if you’re choosing to be on the 5d, you just can’t have in your life anymore. I know, it sucks, but it’s a choice and as my shaman said, it’s about letting people go about their own journeys. In my mind, it’s about respecting the choices someone makes and letting them take responsibility.

As soon as I made the choice in my life, suddenly I was back “online” and in my own energy again, and already the year feels much smoother. You’ll know you’re back in your own energy when you feel yourself again, you feel calm and you feel relieved. I start seeing positive signs immediately in my life. So, can’t wait to “see” you guys again this year over in the 5d!

The Gifts of Trauma

I don’t feel that trauma can be justified- I just want to make that clear- over intellectualizing or finding “reasons” for trauma to have existed in our lives, I find, is self-defeating. At worst, it can force us into a space of passive acceptance in a way that can minimize our healing around it. The pathway to healing the trauma is first, accepting and processing the anger around it. We have to feel into the INJUSTICE to move the energies trapped, move through the grief and anxiety, and then move up the ladder to finding the gifts within. If we bypass this stage then we get tuck in a bypass, in an over-justification that can look like acceptance from the outside, but one in which we haven’t actually healed. It’s like forgiveness in a way- it’s harder than we think it is because it’s not just accepting an apology or saying I forgive you, it’s actually moving through all of which is underneath that- the feeling of betrayal, the hurt, the anger, the hatred, perhaps, the resentment AND THEN reaching a point of resolution: forgiveness, acceptance, letting go.

I just started working with a healer who told me that in her experience, all of her clients who have had traumatic upbringings are highly intuitive. That it was, in her words, “the gift of trauma”. What she said was that because those of us who had traumatic upbringings learned to brace our bodies and go out of it, we learned how to be in the etheric space. I found that really beautiful, as it is a piece that clicked for me this far into my own healing process. Like, oh, it created something that I can live with, that defines me in a unique way, that now I can make a difference with. It was liberating.

The hard work for me during the earlier parts of my process was learning that power is in the body and to integrate and open up my body and make it a safe place from where I can use all these intuitive tools. When we do that, we need to be prepared that it can be very trying. It can feel very unsafe because our bodies developed the way they did to protect us in childhood. I believe the path to healing requires great discernment- when do these defense mechanisms need to shift and be healed, and when are they okay to stay, because they’ve developed from wisdom and experience?

I will admit that there are so many moments in my life where I’m fed up. When does it stop? Why did all of that happen to me? Why do I now have to live with this? Why do I have to suffer the consequences of other people’s bad behavior? Why do I have to be stuck in cycles of trauma? There are times I feel so lonely and so defeated from this terribly painstaking process. But we can’t run from trauma, it either catches up to you, or you learn how to integrate it, process it, learn from it, and find the gifts within because there are many.

All of the most gifted healers and therapists I’ve ever worked with had their own hardships. It is a rough training ground, but one that prepares you in a way that nothing else can. I can say assuredly I’m starting to see how much my background supports me today, even if I had no support during the time I went through it. In my acting, it gives a true, lived experience, it gives me a wider emotional bandwidth when I’ve been to some dark places, it gives me a fearlessness to delve into all of that, because I’ve already been there. More than anything, it’s given me more compassion and humanity.

What they did was not okay, it never was okay, and today, because of all the work I’ve done around it, I’m better for it. I’m okay.

Shifting our Attraction Point

The universe operates out of neutrality- so it will keep giving you options for you to say yes or no to. The things you say yes to, it will give you more of. The things you say no to will be cleared, if you do so consciously and learn the higher lessons associated- the caveat here is if we do so out of fear and resistance, then what we say no to will stick more because we give them more power, and fear and resistance are sticky energies to begin with.

I know- this can be an esoteric concept for some people. So let me break this down: we are always, I mean always, in direct conversation with the universe. When we shift vibrations, what we’re doing is saying no to an existing vibration, and yes to a new vibrational reality. It’s newtonian- a moving object will stay in motion unless acted on by a force. This is to say, our “NO” will stop the pattern from proliferating, and that is how we shift our attraction point.

For example, if we are acting out of unconscious matches, we may keep attracting the same type of partner over and over. It isn’t until we come to the realization, do our healing work and thereby recognize the unconscious, unhealed piece that wants to make itself known consciously can we move forward and then attract a higher level person. Sometimes, a very strong energy healing has that effect if we are choosing to work on what we want to shift. Sometimes these shifts happen gradually as we make our way up the ladder of spiritual learning, other times they happen all of a sudden and we can jump from vibrational reality A to vibrational reality C.

Although I’m going to use an example of online dating, please note that this is a metaphor applied generally in all areas of our lives: the universe will give you matches and it is up to you to swipe right or left. I believe in free will, and although some matches are more “suggested”, the universe is okay with you deciding it isn’t for you and will continue to deliver more matches based on what you say yes to, and refine its algorithm based on your current taste. When you swipe no, with the refined algorithm it will lessen the frequency of how often it presents similar matches until it disappears for good.

Sometimes a huge life change already has the effect of shifting our attraction point in many areas of our lives- that’s how we make those huge shifts from A to C. Sometimes, we clear it through direct experience (because when we confront the energy directly, we act as the force that acts upon it, changing its direction). You’ll notice sometimes when shifting attraction points, we may get one last clearing. One of my healers call this the “draino person” meaning, we get that one last person who reminds us of an old vibration and the situation with that person might be annoying, but what they’re doing is pulling out all the remnants of this old vibration so it can leave. So, we can welcome that experience because sometimes it takes just that one last experience to say enough is enough, and then that force is strong enough for the attraction point to shift permanently.

Holding Others Accountable

A lot of my life, I was over-functional and over responsible for other people in my life. It’s hard to pinpoint exactly what created it, but it 100% has to do with certain pieces in combination: narcissistic abuse, being highly empathic, being raised with codependency. All of these created in me care-taking behaviors, self sacrifice, all of which did not hold other people accountable for their own actions and behaviors.

This piece recently clicked for me and I’ll share with you the process and realizations. Causing other people pain causes me pain, because of my empathy. It is very visceral. Seeing animals or people in pain and suffering causes me very real pain and suffering even when it has nothing to do with me. If I can help ameliorate suffering, sometimes I will go to great lengths, and in the past, even if it caused me damage. I learned at a young age to not speak up around opposing opinions. I learned to be agreeable, accommodating, nice (this programming also has to do with me being a woman)- I learned to spare other people’s embarrassment, any upset and overwhelm. I tucked away my own disagreements, my own anger, my own truth to, at an extreme, coddle other people. In my mind it was well intentioned. I wanted other people to feel good, happy, supported, loved. I still of course do, but my realization takes me a different route to achieve this aim.

I hyper focused on what to do for others and let them do whatever they wanted. Sometimes I couldn’t set boundaries because I know that for some people, boundaries can feel like rejection or could make them angry, upset, sad. It was sad for me to deny anyone something they wanted, especially people I cared about. You can see how this is really a dangerous point of view, but so many of us have this. The stakes are high- I had my life threatened when I set boundaries, and even a slight ripple in my family became a huge, violent outburst from my unstable volatile father. We learned that walking on eggshells and avoiding was normal. I learned that my reality and my needs were unimportant, from my mother. I learned that to avoid being rejected, ridiculed, threatened, and even, kicked out of the house, meant, be agreeable, obedient, accommodating, and at worst- enabling.

I didn’t realize that I was enabling bad behaviors by going along with them, at all. I really just focused on the element of helping someone else avoid pain and conflict. It shook me to my core because it hit so many deep, core wounds and fears for me— the worse our consequences (how much worse can having your life threatened violently be?) the higher the stakes are around something. It was encoded into my nervous system, around fight or flight. Naturally, the defense mechanism grew to protect me- always be agreeable, don’t call people out for their bad behavior. If it gets too bad, disappear quietly, but otherwise just condone it and make people feel there is nothing wrong with them at all costs! Even at your own expense! Because the consequences are a lot worse than that discomfort. Other people’s discomfort is worse than your own discomfort.

Recently, something clicked and a lot of the fear dissipated. I started telling people when behaviors were disrespectful. I started speaking up around my specific needs even if it felt so uncomfortable and would’ve been something in the past that I would’ve swallowed and dealt with. I started to realize that when you do hold other people accountable for their ignorance, their insensitivity, the harm they cause, the disrespect, yeah it can be uncomfortable but you give them something valuable: a chance to grow. That is way more valuable, even if people don’t understand the gift it is, than allowing certain behaviors that don’t work for you (and if it doesn’t work for you, then it’s safe to assume that there are other people in the world this wouldn’t work for). Sometimes I even think, if I’m not the one who says something, someone else will, and it is much better coming from me because I can deliver it probably in a kinder way than other people may.

Growth cannot come without discomfort. Not to mention, in direct dealings, you are not only giving them a chance to grow, but you are also showing them healthy levels of self-worth and boundaries for them to model, if they struggle with this too. A lot of people who can’t take accountability for themselves do struggle with self-worth and lack of boundaries, so if you say no, then it gives them permission to, too. If they can’t accept the gift that it is and take issue with it, that’s not your problem, because that’s exhibiting toxic behaviors that you don’t want in your life anyway.

How to Know You're Undergoing a HUGE Life Shift

1. Things will start falling apart. This is the biggest sign that you’re heading for a huge upgrade in your life, or in different areas in your life.

For example, when I had a huge shift in my love “space”, I went through 3 breakups in a span of a few weeks. It was 3 mini and intense relationships that played out, in order to clear out old energy. Yes it was devastating, yes it was uncomfortable, excruciating even, but I knew that a real relationship was coming. The clearing was freeing me up for something new in my life, clearing old patterns/beliefs/grief/blocks, and sure enough, I ended up in a long term relationship with the next person I dated. When things fall apart, the universe is freeing you up.

2. New people will be magnetized into your life to help you forward

There will be a sudden appearance of new people who want to offer their help in some way. For example, when I committed to my cross country move, random people came into my life to help me in ways with my home, the move, even packing. One person actually gave me a road map for my new career due to several very strange synchronicities.

3. You’ll feel a “push” to grow

For instance, when someone is upleveling in their financial space, they may suddenly get hit with a few challenges in that space. It can feel out of nowhere and hit you in a space that in the past was very peaceful. Sometimes, it’s really just to push you to grow— where would we be without our challenges (which are, in the end, our biggest gifts) after all.

4. Internal “combustion” of sorts— refer to this blog post

5. There will be a mass “clearing” of people, things, in your life. This is to make space for something new.

People just seem to disappear from your life- and you may feel no desire to reach out and they don’t either. This usually applies to a few people because when you shift your vibration or drop your match with them, they shift out. I’ve had this happen with a good friend of mine who is very conscious, so we were able to put it into words- when both of us cleared certain old beliefs, we quite literally could not engage one another- both of us had a feeling that we couldn’t stay in the friendship anymore.

6. You feel your attraction point switch suddenly, and what you now attract, which you attract a lot of initially, feels different than the old.

Suddenly, the new people who come into your life all feel so much “lighter”, or, something just works with them differently than the people you were used to. In love, it could be that you’ve learned all the higher lessons in your relationships that still have trauma-bonds, and then suddenly you are shifted towards attracting people who are your soulmates, or twin flame.

7. There’s a lot of contrast—

This one may be the more esoteric of them all- there’s a really sudden, stark contrast illuminating the darkness and the lightness in your life. For instance, you may have the best possible thing happen to you and you may even be in disbelief at how amazing it is, and then something also seemingly “terrible” (which is an illusion- it may just be a push to grow) happens at the same time. This is not to say that we need to have fear around good things happening, as I’m aware some people have that fear, it’s just to say that something comes to conscious awareness to clear out something dark that’s living in the shadows, so that there can be more light in your life.

All this being said, YOU have to take that first step in order to trigger this shift, for the pieces to come together.