I don’t share much personal material here on this blog, nor in my sessions, nor have I invested in cultivating a social media presence for this healing practice. It’s my belief that I only share that which is necessary for the growth of my clients in session and any more than that is an overshare.
That being said, I’ve recently learned it’s okay to not have such strict boundaries and walls pertaining to work and personal. Sometimes, you won’t know what can help someone, and some fluidity as long as it doesn’t become just about the healer (which I believe is an act of ego) is necessary. This work is NOT about me. It’s about what I, and my experiences, can facilitate for you.
Recently, I took a huge leap of faith. I’d come across the idea of the unlived life in The War of Art, as recommended to me by one of my healers. The concept is about how we each have two lives, one is our pro-scribed life, the one we lead out of safety, and the other is where our wildest dreams lie. We can’t have both, and it takes tremendous courage to pursue the unlived life. What more is, if we can find ease in the fear and chaos of not being in control, of all the fear that we have, and that is provoked in others when they find out we’re taking these risks at the expense of some form of approved “Security”, things unfold in a way that is too strange to predict, and all too comforting for the psyche, that’s used to identifying danger in the face of unpredictability.
Back in December, I’d come across a sanctuary in Hawaii. It wasn’t until last year that I started traveling to new places solo- and I’d never imagined that I’d end up in Hawaii of all places, but it called to me. It started coming to me in dreams, first, and I just followed all the signs. I ended up finding a micro-rainforest owned by healers. I asked one of them how she ended up there. She described to me her process is choosing to live the unlived life. She said, every step of the way when we come up with resistance (which can take the form of: “but I don’t have the money, I don’t have x y z, it’s not the right time,”) and if we defy that resistance, or work through it, then something else opens up for us, and the money shows up, and things work out. But that was what brought her to change her life and move to Hawaii and live the life that she wanted, deep down.
I felt so stuck in NYC for a long time. It felt safe, familiar, comfortable, but the bubble of the comfort zone was starting to become restrictive. In March, I went in search of clarity, again in Hawaii. I went back to do all the things I didn’t do the first time, including a cliff jump that terrified me too much. I learned in that instance, just do it. Don’t overthink it, and once you take that leap there’s nothing else you can do but surrender to it, and your body will know what to do. The water hit my tailbone, shaking up a few blocks in my root chakra (for those of you who are familiar, the root rules residences, home—) I do believe that it was stagnating in relationship to where I was living, as I never quite found the impetus to change it. Here was the universe, nature, giving me a proverbial and literal slap on the ass to move me forward.
I had asked that day for the Universe to give me clarity. And it did. As soon as I got out of the water, it was like someone was screaming in my ear “MOVE TO LA”- it was so clear, clearer than that guttural intuition. It was an intuition that wrapped all the way around me, through me, beneath me. I’ve always more or less understood that I’m a tiny piece on a chessboard, and although I may not see the entirety of the strategy, that I can count on a larger force to guide me to where I need to be- because all the other pieces also rest on my move, and I also depend on the other pieces to be prompted, and to follow their moves too. A few more occurrences and shifts came into place, and I found myself back in NYC with a dire need to move on, right away. In fact, the only things (and people) that kept me in NYC fell away in the days after my return which you’ll notice will happen when the Universe wants to free up your energy. In two short months, I made it out here. There were many people who were shifted into my life at the time I needed them- including people giving me not just a launching pad, but a plan of action for when I moved— these were gifts that I could’ve never foreseen. But when you commit to a move for your highest, purest good, the Universe supports you.
The last lesson I learned while being out here was one of patience. That, although things can move fast, they can also move very slow. That, sprinting is good for certain distances, but sometimes we need to re-calibrate and jog the rest of the way, knowing it’s a long way. I also learned, that in the face of the unknown, we can often also default to being paralyzed by fear. But it always, somehow, always, works out. Not only that, but our commitment to making sure that we’re in flow, which comes with getting into alignment, means that we place ourselves into a larger planetary flow and to receive the energies and influences that come with a much larger force than us. I’ve never felt stronger and more in tune, and that comes with also feeling so incredibly vulnerable. This comes with a deep anchoring belief that I deserve all the good that is to come. That’s what taking a big risk is for. Sometimes, we have to play to win.